Saturday, January 18, 2014

Balancing Melting Snow

Some how it had all come together, and he was trying his damnedest not to think about its fragility. His self destructive nature had been so quelled for so long, he dreaded it rearing its ugly head and blowing over his house of cards. Winter was upon him, with all his short comings he was worried if he could make it to spring, trying to quell the fears with hope, knowing full well the fire depression feeds. 
His one comfort was he was not an island alone, he had her, a golden bridge to saner shores, even in his darkest moments he could summon the light of her nature to cast out the shadows in the scarred corners of his soul. 
In the spring, they would embark on the greatest journey of their lives, a trek which would lead them to their greatest joys and deepest sorrows, that would leave them empty and fulfill them more then anything they had ever known.
As he sat drinking coffee while the cold December snow fell gracefully outside his window, he anticipated the journey, but feared his lack of planning. He knew on the road he could be wolffish , greedy in pursuit of his own desires, a character flaw as opposed to malicious hedonism, yet he knew the compromises to come would be some of the hardest to accept he had ever encountered, with human life hanging in the balance. His desires could be put on the back burner, but his moral compass would have to stay rigid and determined. 
They would have to find a balance between ideals and reality, fiscal responsibility and ability to adapt. How to approach god and death and sex, the normal and unexplainable. The insane to the mundane, Monday to Sunday, 365  days a year end on end.
As he finished his coffee, he noted how far he had already come on his journey, and realized with her, he could go farther then he would allow himself to dream.

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